


Dennis Always Wins

by DictionaryWrites



Category: It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia
Genre: Anal Sex, Dirty Talk, Dubious Morality, Gay, Hair-pulling, M/M, Mildly Dubious Consent, Rough Sex, Sticky
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-19
Updated: 2017-05-19
Packaged: 2018-11-02 15:23:53
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,938
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10947297
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DictionaryWrites/pseuds/DictionaryWrites
Summary: Written for a request from Tumblr user wastedonmemory: Macdennis oneshot on the couch: Dennis calls Mac for his role in the D.E.N.N.I.S system. So Mac gets in place to play the part...but Dennis planned this. Just to see his baby boy dressed up for him, in his glasses and Dennis' clothes (like the Mac even OWNS 'sensible' clothes). Mac is totally unaware and caught off guard by Dennis coming onto him like this. First time? Smut? Hell yes. You write it all so well.





	Dennis Always Wins

Mac truly admires the D.E.N.N.I.S. system.

He settles on the couch, holding the book in his hands, one of his legs crossed over the other, just like Dennis sits sometimes, and he wears one of Dennis’ winter cardigans over his shirt, wearing a pair of Dennis’ clean, tight-fitting jeans. Dennis always likes Mac to wear his clothes instead of Mac’s own for the system, just ‘cause his clothes don’t really give the intellectual vibe, apparently.

The book in his lap is kinda boring, truth be told, and Mac doesn’t read much anyway, except for comic books, and there aren’t any pictures in this except for the cover, which is just some chick bent over a desk.

What’s even the point in the books like this?

Mac just doesn’t really get the point of books with woman characters. How are you meant to find anything hot when the girl’s thinking about her boobs and shit? That’s not relatable to anyone.

The door opens behind him, and Mac glances up, pushing his glasses up his nose and looking to the door. Dennis steps inside, swaying slightly as he pulls the door shut behind him, and he grins at Mac as he kicks off his shoes.

“Where- where’s the chick, man?”

“Nah, nah,” Dennis replies breezily, waving his hands and stumbling forwards; swinging his leg gracelessly over the top of the sofa, he drops himself onto the couch beside Mac, leans over, and snatches the book out of Mac’s hand, throwing it across the room. “I ain’t in the mood for chicks. Look, look, Mac,” Dennis slurs his words slightly, leaning forwards and draping one of his arms around Mac’s neck, leaning in. Mac smells a mix of spirits and beer on Dennis’ breath, and he goes as stiff as a board, because Dennis is half in Mac’s lap, his knee pressed slightly against Mac’s crotch.

“Dennis, what the Hell, man?” Mac demands, leaning as far back in his seat as he can, and he wonders, distantly, if this is some kind of trick – is there some babe watching them that Mac hadn’t noticed, is this some weird extra to the system that Mac hasn’t seen before?

“Look, Mac,” Dennis says, forcing his eyes to focus. “Sometimes, man, you just gotta get plowed. Chicks can’t really cover that, and the D.E.N.N.I.S. system takes too long, so… What I want, Mac, is for you to enter me, hard, and plow me for as long as I need to be satisfied.”

Mac stares Dennis in the face, his eyes wide and his mouth open.

“What the fuck?” Mac says. “You- what the Hell, man, why are you being such a homo, you can’t- look, the Bible—” Mac moans. Tipping his head back, Mac lets out a drawn-out, desperate sound, because Dennis is cupping him hard through the fabric of the jeans Mac had borrowed, his thumb tracing Mac’s length. What the fuck? What the _fuck_? “Is this some kinda prank?”

“Look, Mac,” Dennis says, using a low and sensual whisper, and Mac’s nips are hard as rocks, but he isn’t gay, he _isn’t_ gay, this is just- look, this is just some bro shit, right? He and Dennis jack off together, and this isn’t that different, except that Dennis is talking about- talking about Mac _plowing_ him. “I wanna get plowed. I’ve selected _you_ to plow me. If you don’t plow me…” Dennis trails off, loosening his grip on Mac’s dick. “Well, I guess I’d have to go to Rex. He’s bigger than you anyway, more muscular—”

Mac smashes his mouth into Dennis’, grabbing him hard by the back of the hair and _pulling_ the stuff at the roots, because Dennis like it when girls do that to him, and it makes Dennis let out a gratifying, breathy whine. Mac bites at Dennis’ lips, almost to punish him for being such a fucking _faggot_ , and then he leans back, pushing the stupid glasses off his face so that he can kiss Dennis properly.

This isn’t a gay thing.

Like, Mac, he’s not gay.

But fuck _Rex_ , man, Mac is way hotter than Rex, even if he isn’t gay, he’s going to plow Dennis like a damn field, and it won’t even be hot, because Mac totally prefers chicks, and Dennis would be a really hot chick, too – cheekbones, those lips (what if Mac got Dennis to blow him?), and his dick is pretty nice.

Like, dicks are obviously not a chick thing, but like… If more chicks had dicks, other than Carmen, they’d totally look like Dennis’, which isn’t too thick and is kind of long, pink at the head and perfectly shaved.

Yeah. Chicks would have dicks like Dennis, if they could.

“ _Ow_ ,” Dennis gasps out, clawing at Mac’s back as Mac bites a hard mark into the taller man’s neck, but Mac doesn’t let up. He’s an _actually_ badass dude who’s won an uncontested point in a karate contest and everything, and if he’s gonna plow Dennis, he’s going to ruin him.

The idea sends a shiver through his body, tingling through his skin, and Mac grins savagely against the clavicle of Dennis’ shoulder. Dennis is letting out the prettiest little noises, not like the weird moans he lets out when he has a girl in his room – no, these are gasping, half-stifled sounds, and he arches his back under Mac’s attentions, lifting his ass off the couch so that Mac will pull off his pants – and when did this position change, when did Mac get on top of Dennis?

Mac doesn’t know, but while his mind is pointed in that direction, he pins Dennis down.

Dennis lets him, and doesn’t struggle at all.

Mac puts one of his knees between Dennis’ legs, the other one on the inside of the couch, and he presses his thigh right against Dennis’ crotch: Dennis grinds himself up against Mac’s leg, his cock a little wet at the head and his balls heavy, and Dennis is gasping as he does so.

“What the fuck, man?” Mac demands, and now Dennis does begin to struggle, trying to pull his right wrist out from under Mac’s hand, but Mac holds him tighter. “The Hell is wrong with you? You ask me to me the intellectual in your stupid system, and then you come home like some homo and say I’m less manly than _Rex_?”

“Rex has a bigger dick than you,” Dennis says breathlessly, and Mac lets out a yell of frustration and throws himself off the couch. He grabs Dennis by the hair, dragging him off the couch, and Dennis heaves in gasps of air as he holds tightly onto Mac’s arm (and there’s an idea, distant and right at the back of Mac’s mind, that Dennis is stronger than him, that Dennis could probably throw Mac right over one of his shoulders and carry him somewhere, but Mac doesn’t want to think about that right now – he’s already popping a boner) and Mac drags him into Dennis’ room. “That hurts, ya know,” Dennis says when Mac lets him go, and then he cups the sides of Mac’s face, leaning in to kiss him.

Mac’s eyes flutter closed as Dennis kisses him, and he feels Dennis’ mouth on his, feels Dennis’ tongue against his own, against his teeth.

“Do you know what a _luxury_ it is to touch the Golden God?” Dennis asks him.

“You’re so weird, man,” Mac says, and before Dennis can voice the fury passing across his face, Mac pushes him back onto the bed, the heels of his hands pressing hard at Dennis’ shoulders. Dennis wriggles out of his button-up and settles back on the bed, spreading his legs slightly and stroking his dick.

Wetness shines on Dennis’ asscheeks and around his hole, and Mac stares between his legs, where more of the lube shines.

“Did you get fucked before you got here?” Mac asks.

“No, man,” Dennis says. “I just… _prepared_ myself. I wanted to shave off a few seconds between you entering me and your potentially regretting it.” Mac narrows his eyes slightly, and Dennis spreads his legs wider. “Come plow me.” Mac’s hands go to the hem of his shirt, ready to pull it off over his head, but Dennis says, “No, keep them on. It’s hot.”

Mac restrains the urge to roll his eyes, and then he throws himself forwards, unbuttoning his pants with his right hand as he presses his body against Dennis’. And look, see, it’s not just his dick – Dennis is like a chick in a lot of ways, except that he’s too hot to be a chick. He has this divot at his hips that Mac might run his tongue over, he has hard little nips, he has these lines to his body that most women just don’t _have_.

Mac’s dick is hard, and he gives himself a few strokes before he lines himself up against Dennis’ hole.

“Don’t go so gentle,” Dennis complains, almost _whines_. “Aren’t you meant to be a karate master or something? Plow me, damn it, pl- _agh_ -“ Mac slams himself to the hilt, punching the air out of Dennis, and Dennis grabs at the sheets underneath him; Dennis wraps his legs around Mac’s knees, doing his best to pull Mac deeper, and Mac begins to thrust his hips.

He does it as hard as he can, way harder than he would with a chick, and he feels Dennis clench wetly and greedily around his cock, pressing the back of his head against the mattress and _groaning_ sweet little sounds. Mac drags his nails down Dennis’ belly, does it hard enough to leave white marks over the skin, and then flicks his nails over Dennis’ nips. Dennis’ nips are hard and pink, and Mac draws his tongue over one of them before blowing cool air over it – and then goes over it with his teeth as well.

It actually kinda hurts, with how hard he’s slamming his hips into Dennis’, hearing the wet _slap_ of his skin on Dennis’, listening to Dennis’ heavy, laboured breathing, but it’s kind of a work-out, and Mac doesn’t mind.

Dennis moans and wails and writhes, and Mac just fucks him harder – way harder than Rex could do, _way_ harder, and with more masculinity, with more like, _badassery_.

When Dennis comes, he’s soaked with sweat and red in the face, and his cock pulses in ropes up Dennis’ belly and his chest, slick and filmy where Mac runs his fingers through it. It’s whiteish, nearly clear, and it’s not as thick as Mac’s.

“You’re a whore, Dennis,” Mac says softly, “You’re a flaming, homo whore.”

“You’re goddamn right, Mac,” Dennis replies, and he clenches hard around Mac’s dick. “And you’re inside me.” Mac lets out a harsh little sound, and he doesn’t even expect it, doesn’t expect the tension to abruptly uncoil, and he comes hard. He feels him pulse inside Dennis, feels his come wet the walls of Dennis’ ass, and then Mac lets out a heady exhalation, dropping on top of Dennis and pressing his face into the other man’s neck.

He’s fucking _exhausted,_ and he lets his eyes droop closed.

 ---

When Mac wakes up, Dennis’ jizz is wet and kind of sticky on his chest hair, and Mac is lying on his back. Dennis is standing over him, sipping from a steaming mug of coffee, and smirking.

“What the Hell are you looking at?”

“Nothing,” Dennis says, mildly. There’s an expression of superiority, of victory, on his face. “Nothing at all.”

**Author's Note:**

> Requests are open if you have any! Info about them is [right here!](http://dictionarywrites.tumblr.com/post/160853818533/request-commission-information)


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